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Nerd Talk: Finally, a Pill For Tracking Your Farts

This is what happens when we give Australia science

January 10, 2018

Australian "scientists" have invented an ingestible pill whose design allows it to track the build-up or depletion of gas in your guts. It's a fart pill ... for tracking farts.

Seriously though, understanding how all those craft beers turn to farts in your guts is an important element of understanding our own health. There are more bacteria living in your intestines than cells that build up your physical body and yet we know almost nothing about them -- do they watch The Good Place?

Now, you can cram this giant transmitter enabled pill into your mouth and gag it down for docs to get a better idea of what's going on down there. It'll connect to an app on a smart phone to transmit data. If that means I have to disconnect my Bluetooth speaker, then the data transmission is going way down.

So with this technology, can we be alerted when a fierce flare of farts are imminent, allowing us the time to name the coming storm? "Ass Hurricane Henry is expecting winds of 117mph." Or "Sorry Chowder the dog, there's a 71% chance of dutch oven tonight."

In seriousness, this dumb thing will actually help doctors understand what's happening in the guts of people who suffer from an intestinal disease like Crohn's or a simpler level with irritable bowel syndrome. It takes less than a day for the pill to be swallowed and later plop out with a cold-water-on-your-bum splash -- not sure if I want to know whether or not it is reusable ...

When I emailed my editor about this idea for a fart tracking pill, he responded, "That sounds like something I would tell my brothers I had so they would let me fart in their faces." Real mature.

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